Friday, October 19, 2007

I'm The Mom Next Door

Today I took All My Children to an area attraction. All three of them. All by myself. For the very first time. To Grant's Farm. Wow, I'm nuts.

Grant's Farm involves boarding a tram, riding along trails dotted with buffalo, cows, and horses (more like dotted with their poop), and then de-boarding the tram to stroll through a mini zoo type area filled with elephants, goats, and monkeys. Oh my.

Oh, the tram. Had one screaming baby in one arm and a baby yelling GONE GONE GONE in the other arm. But we made it. No one fell out only to be eaten by ravenous Oreo Cookie Cows.

Grant's Farm is currently decorated for Halloween. My three year old ran from skeleton to goblin to ghost yelling, "Scaries! Another scary! Look! More scaries! I love being scared!! It's fun being scared!!" Which makes sense, because when she was a baby, she loved nothing more than me catching her off guard by yelling BOO in her face. She'd jump, then laugh herself silly. Try that with the babies and they'd instantly poop their pants before wailing for hours on end.

After successfully navigating the friendly local attraction, and de-boarding the going home tram, I packed both babies into the stroller and boldly headed to the exit. So proud was I. We made it. I made it! All by ourselves/myself!

That's when a woman raced over to me while yelling, "Your baby! She's going to fall out of the stroller!!"

I stopped in my tracks and saw that yes, Juna was indeed hanging by her NECK out of the front of the stroller. She slipped, feet first, and was about to bang into the pavement, only to be run over by her sisters and oblivious mother.

I quickly rescued my dangling baby and realized I hadn't buckled her into the seat of the stroller.

Of course this all happened in front of a mom's group. Other mothers. How we mothers fear being judged my other mothers. Oh, and causing bodily harm to our children. Yeah yeah. But those mothers! How we hate it when things go wrong in front of other mothers.

Hi! I'm a mom who has videos up on her website, providing helpful hints and tips for other moms! Ignore the fact that my baby is bouncing along the blacktop because I forgot to buckle her into her safety restraints. Give that woman a TV show!

To my surprise, the other moms rushed to ease my discomfort and obvious embarrassment. "OH, that's happened to me before, don't worry!" And, "Happened the other day! My baby fell out of his swing because I forgot to buckle him in!" "Happens to all of us, don't worry!"

Even with nearly sending us to Children's today, I'd say our my first outing alone with All My Children was a successful one. A draining one. But a successful one.

On the way home, the three year old asked, "Are you done being married to daddy? I want to marry him. He's a good man."

I explained that she can't marry daddy, because she's his daughter and daughters cannot marry daddies. Her reply? "No, I'm going to marry Daddy. He's the perfect man."

And he is. I am able to take this much needed break because Matt is in the other room, on the floor, letting all three girls use him as a jungle gym. He always dreamed of having women crawling all over him. There you go, honey.

See the Oreo Cookie Cow and other sights from the place we visited today, when the next episode of Word To Your Mutha- The Show- airs on Monday.


Steph said...

Im glad she's ok. The fact that you took them to Grants Farm by yourself impresses the socks off me! Yay for great hubbys!

tubelessstl said...

Great Hubby's are da bomb! I can't wait to take Julia on the spooktacular ride when she is old enough to understand it all. your 3yr old was a hoot today. FUN. You are a brave mommy with all 3 out at the same time, but you did it. I admire that.

Mutha said...

Tubeless! I forgot to mention how great it was to see you and your gorgeous little baby today. Seeing you two together was really touching. I almost started bawling on several occasions. You've waited so long for this. So wonderful to see another adoption dream come true. Congrats again!

Steph, yeah she was fine, thank goodness. Not even phased. Shew!

Anonymous said...

Once again, Miss Boo lives up to her precocious ways by throwing out a
wish to "marry Daddy" around a year earlier than it usually occurs! Both of girls made that declaration at age 4! L

Anonymous said...

I think every mom has experienced some version of the stroller incident, so no need to feel bad.
You still get a rockin' mom award for a successful trip with all the kiddos!

J said...

Twice, not once but TWICE! I drove B home without buckling his carseat. It was back when he was a little baby & I could pop his infant seat into the stroller. I'd unbuckled him to make him more comfy, covered him up with a blanket, then forgot he was unbuckled & just put him in the car that way. I felt like the worst mom in the world when I got home & saw what I'd done.

Oh, and B wants to marry his sister, have two kids, and live with us for the rest of his life.

Anonymous said...

Mae, I knew you had two - not three - wow! Love your writing...glad I found you again, you always knew how to make me chuckle "edna"...:)

Dianna said...

Oh man - I know Juna nearly fell out of the stroller but I honestly think at some stage nearly every mother has done the same thing! I pulled out of our driveway not so long ago to hear "Mum! Where's my seatbelt?" as the booster seat very precariously rattled to one side. So yeah, pulled back up the driveway, buckled him in and praised God he could talk!

Monica said...

Wow! You are the woman! I'm going to attempt the zoo alone with Lily on Wednesday....We'll see how it goes!!

Sara said...

The stroller thing happened to me at Hobby Lobby. The gentleman behind me while I was ringing up, said "I think your baby is trying to escape". I just laughed and tried not to turn 4 shades of red. I always buckle her in now. You give them an inch, they will try and take a foot...