Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Don't Hate The Playa, Hate The Game

In the last post I admitted that I am a stalker of Caucasian moms with Chinese babies.

I also told you I was taking my daughter to the museum for her science class and would show off Juna's pictures to everyone who works there.

What a lucky day for me. I got to show off Juna's pics AND stalk a Caucasian Mom/Chinese Baby duo at the same time.

Picture this. CM/CB enter the museum and approach the classroom area. Daughter and I are standing there, waiting for the classroom to open. I notice them, shove my hand into my bag, and pull out Juna's pics and thrust them at the CM/CB duo and say, "LOOK LOOK!"

Great opening line, huh. Do I know them? No. Do they know me? No. But when has that ever stopped me before? I can hold a stimulating conversation with a rock. I'm that good.

Back to the story.

CM looks at the pics and says, "Oh nice." and hands them back.

DRAT! Either I completely floored her or she wasn't interested in playing along. Ahhh but I am not one to give up easily. I should have been a guy. Sometimes I feel like a guy hitting on a girl at a bar when I approach the CM/CBs. Desperately searching for an opening line to win them over. Thinking of something charming so I can keep them near me, and keep them talking.

"Thanks," I say to the CM. "We go to get her next month."

She gives me a funny look. "China?"

It took me all I could to not give her a funny look. She's the one holding the Chinese baby. She's the one who's been through this recently. Then again, how often do strange women approach you and anxiously thrust baby pictures in your hand? I should highlight and underline the word, "strange," shouldn't I?

Then I saw the light bulb turn on over her head. "OH! You're adopting from China!" She turned to her little girl. "Look, Sarah! She's adopting from China! Where are you from?"


"And you are...?"


"That's right!" She then smiled at me and asked, "How long was your wait?"

"2 years. But we had a hold situation...."

"Our wait was six months."

I laughed, "Nice!"

"How old is she?"

"Six months at referral."

She got a funny look on her face. "Sarah was 18 months."

And that's when it hit me.

You know how some moms like to do the little compare children game? Well MY CHILD spoke at 12 months. Well MY CHILD was reading by 2 years! Well MY CHILD got accepted to Harvard while still in the womb!

Do you think there are comparisons/resentments that occur in the Chinese adoption world?

Resentments over a family getting a six month old referral.
Resentments over a family not having a long wait.
Resentments over the experience of going to China- good VS bad. Healthy baby VS sick baby?
Resentments over the amount of bio children in the family VS being a first time parent?

I don't think this woman had issues. Other than trying to keep herself from fleeing from the crazy woman. It just made me think for the first time that maybe the resentment game does happen in the IA world.

It's gorgeous here today so I'm going to take the girl outside to sniff the peonies and admire the roses.

1 comment:

Cindy said...

Hi there! Well, I am not the CM/CB that you met, but I also have a CB named Sarah. Actually, she's not a baby anymore-- she's 3. But I found your comments very true... and funny! I was fortunate enough to only endure a 6 month wait... and boy do I feel resentment steaming off of people I know in the process now. So much so that I try not to mention our wait at FCC gatherings, and when I'm asked about it, I find myself mumbling and trying to bury my answer in incoherence!!!

Congrats on your beautiful daughter. I hope you have a wonderful trip!!!