Monday, February 25, 2008

Word To Your Mutha- The Winner

Nine people entered my contest.


I am such a D List blogger.

I might actually even be E List.

Oh, but I wear it well, my E List Blogger status. I'm the little blogger that could. The Midwestern mother with a heart of gold. Just trying to make her dreams come true to make a better life for her family.

Cue the inspirational music?

I embrace my E List status! So much so, that I'm not an E List blogger. I'm an E! List blogger.

Hey, it worked for E! Entertainment. That little exclamation mark. It says so much. And in a loud speaking voice.

I wonder if the people who work at E! ever get tired of that exclamation point? John Assistant is typing out an email, "Hey, this is John from E. DAMMIT! Backspace backspace. John from E! Stupid exclamation point."

Do they ever, in a rebellious moment, leave the ! off the E? And if caught, do they get reprimanded by the boss? John Assistant's boss is standing behind his chair as John types an email. The boss taps the screen and says, "John... the exclamation point..." Instead of an office swear jar, do they have an office exclamation point jar? "I'm sorry John, but I noticed on your letter to Ryan Seacrest that you left the ! off your E. That's $5 for the exclamation point jar."

John Assistant hates his job.

I have a new goal in life. To one day make it to the E! offices, roam the halls, and ask various staff members how they feel about that exclamation point. From the receptionist to Ryan Seacrest. Maybe.. even Mankini.

This is the crap we E! List bloggers think about.

Ahhh but we E! Listers try harder to earn your love. We give away prizes. Does your famous A List blogger do that? Oh noooooooo. They just entertain you with insightful views of the world, told with impeccable writing ability.

We E! Listers give away dorky Richard Nixon souvenirs. Starting right now!

I tried to do the drawing before Matt came home today. I wrote down the NINE entries on pieces of paper, taking time to massage my hand from the writer's cramp. Then I added each name to Miss Boo's pirate hat. I handed the hat to Juna and asked her to draw a name.

She did this instead.

Yeah, let's wait for Matt. And with the magic of blogging, it's now bedtime, Juna. May I please have the pirate hat for our drawing?
Juna wants to take out the pieces of paper and eat them. Avie wanders in carrying a broom. I don't know why, either.
Avie draws the first name.
And hands it to me, rockin that Chris Farley/Ralph Wiggum hair.
And the winner is....
Avie draws another winner before Juna puts back on the pirate hat.
In case tut-tut cannot fulfill her duties as a Word To Your Mutha contest winner, Lauren is our runner up.

A nice exercise in karma, considering tut-tut came to my blog after viewing one of my shows on another blog. And she stuck around. tut-tut, email me with your contact info and your prize will be in the mail.

Let's keep the prize a secret so tut-tut gets a surprise when she gets her mail. It's Richard Nixony goodness, tut tut.

Thanks to everyone who entered. All.. nine... of you. Thanks for passing along the word of my show. We're almost to 600 views in less than two weeks.

Bizarre fantasies about an entertainment cable channel, pics of cute babies, and a prize giveaway. Can your A List blogger do that?

Not if they want to remain on the A List. Thank you and goodnight!


Ashley said...

That post had me laughing! The pictures of the babies trying to pick names were classic. Your house sounds like fun!

You are an awesome E! list blogger!! Having a contest is way cool. congrats to tut tut!

p.s. I gazed at the mountains for you!

Mutha Mae said...

Yay, thanks Ashley. Sometimes I wonder what life would have been liked if we stayed there. But then we wouldn't have our girls. It all happens for a reason.

My plan is to make some big bucks so we can come back and at least visit in style. Someday!

Louanne said...

Well Mutha, if I hadn't had houseguests and packing for China, I totally would have entered - you are the funniest blog I go too :)

Anonymous said...

Yay!! I'm the runner-up! That's so awesome. Unless there's another Lauren out there entering your contests. Wow, that would be embarrassing for everyone... you'd have to send me a gentle note saying "SO sorry... the OTHER Lauren...she's the" And then I would cry bitter tears.

In my nomination speech, I'd like to thank Avie and Juna!

Grizzly said...

Hey now. I passed your blog on to TWO - count them two people. That's got to put you up to at least D- status. I just didn't enter because I honestly have no idea what I would do with some Richard Nixon anything. And because I didn't notice the contest until today.

And I just want to say, I actually know who Ryan Seacrest is. Sort of. But I got one of your cultural references. Which are usually completely lost on me. Because his ex-girlfriend was on the only TV show I actually watch. And people made snarky comments for about 12 weeks. But I got it. I did. I feel so with it. Hmm. It sounds so much worse when I put it that way.

So umm. Keep up the great work on the blog.

Mutha Mae said...

Lauren, you are THE Lauren! You just might get a prize after all, as I might have two to give out. Stay tuned.

Hey, I love my E! List status. It makes me try harder and is great for humor.

I don't have time to market my blog properly. Either- join all the mom groups and online sites and blog rings or play with my kids and do the occasional voice over job. I have about one hour a day total dedicate to the online world in bits and pieces. I'd rather fly under the radar with my blog and have the time to enjoy my children and work on my voice career when the opportunity presents.

And of course, find the time to come up with new video show ideas. Producing them is another story. That takes about 20-30 hours per five minute video and that's a conservative estimate. That's why there's only one video every few months.

To be honest, I'm thrilled that nine people entered.

Skywind said...

I shared your video a while ago, just didn't care about any souvenirs. :) It got at least a few giggles from my friends.

I love your videos. I understand the work involved, and I'm glad you find time to do them. They're fun now and will be very cool to look back on 10-20 years from now too.

Anonymous said...

I laughed when I saw this post about the contest results -- I never enter contests because I never win, but perhaps I had a chance with the pirate hat .... Live and learn.

And congrats on the Post's mention of your blog!

Just out of curiosity, have you ever used the feature? It sounds pretty cool.

Anonymous said...

Reading "writer's cramp" and that you felt it brings me to write, but mostly to ask, (non medically that is):
1) how do you get those symptoms?

2) In what program application do you compose your articles, pages, etc.?

3) Could you compose in e.g., MS Word and copy and paste and post?

I got good* ideas if #3 is "yes"

a fatha and freelancer

*Free ideas and for-pay ideas.

Mutha Mae said...

Hi Alan. The writer's cramp was my lame attempt at humor. Writing those nine names down on pieces of paper, oh the writer's cramp I got, har har har. It was a joke at my own expense, since so few readers entered my contest.

I compose right here on the blog. I often compose, save, and not publish. Then I come back later when I get time to complete the work.

Heading to your blog now..

Mutha Mae said...

Mom22kids_ I have not, but I am going to check it out tonight. YouTube makes me a tiny fish in a huge pond. It might be a better idea to find other ways to showcase my videos to a much smaller, more targeted audience. Thanks!

bb said...

Darn it!!! I missed a few days of blog surfing and I didn't get to enter the contest. RATS! RATS! RATS!

tut-tut said...

Well, I can't believe only 9! I'll send you my contact stuff. I'm very very excited, Mae . . .

Mutha Mae said...

I do plan on updating my blog again sometime in this lifetime. Sheesh, I am so far removed from the online world lately. I miss yous guys!