I am such a D List blogger.
I might actually even be E List.
Oh, but I wear it well, my E List Blogger status. I'm the little blogger that could. The Midwestern mother with a heart of gold. Just trying to make her dreams come true to make a better life for her family.
Cue the inspirational music?
I embrace my E List status! So much so, that I'm not an E List blogger. I'm an E! List blogger.
Hey, it worked for E! Entertainment. That little exclamation mark. It says so much. And in a loud speaking voice.
I wonder if the people who work at E! ever get tired of that exclamation point? John Assistant is typing out an email, "Hey, this is John from E. DAMMIT! Backspace backspace. John from E! Stupid exclamation point."
Do they ever, in a rebellious moment, leave the ! off the E? And if caught, do they get reprimanded by the boss? John Assistant's boss is standing behind his chair as John types an email. The boss taps the screen and says, "John... the exclamation point..." Instead of an office swear jar, do they have an office exclamation point jar? "I'm sorry John, but I noticed on your letter to Ryan Seacrest that you left the ! off your E. That's $5 for the exclamation point jar."
John Assistant hates his job.
I have a new goal in life. To one day make it to the E! offices, roam the halls, and ask various staff members how they feel about that exclamation point. From the receptionist to Ryan Seacrest. Maybe.. even Mankini.
This is the crap we E! List bloggers think about.
Ahhh but we E! Listers try harder to earn your love. We give away prizes. Does your famous A List blogger do that? Oh noooooooo. They just entertain you with insightful views of the world, told with impeccable writing ability.
We E! Listers give away dorky Richard Nixon souvenirs. Starting right now!
I tried to do the drawing before Matt came home today. I wrote down the NINE entries on pieces of paper, taking time to massage my hand from the writer's cramp. Then I added each name to Miss Boo's pirate hat. I handed the hat to Juna and asked her to draw a name.
She did this instead.
Yeah, let's wait for Matt. And with the magic of blogging, it's now bedtime, Juna. May I please have the pirate hat for our drawing?
Juna wants to take out the pieces of paper and eat them. Avie wanders in carrying a broom. I don't know why, either.
In case tut-tut cannot fulfill her duties as a Word To Your Mutha contest winner, Lauren is our runner up.
A nice exercise in karma, considering tut-tut came to my blog after viewing one of my shows on another blog. And she stuck around. tut-tut, email me with your contact info and your prize will be in the mail.
Let's keep the prize a secret so tut-tut gets a surprise when she gets her mail. It's Richard Nixony goodness, tut tut.
Thanks to everyone who entered. All.. nine... of you. Thanks for passing along the word of my show. We're almost to 600 views in less than two weeks.
Bizarre fantasies about an entertainment cable channel, pics of cute babies, and a prize giveaway. Can your A List blogger do that?
Not if they want to remain on the A List. Thank you and goodnight!