Thursday, January 24, 2008

Let's Do Lunch

As a voice talent, I don't often meet the people I work with. A script is emailed, I voice the script, I email it back, they pay me. I'm an email address, and a voice. Nothing more.

In the past two weeks, I've had not one, but two lunch meetings. Do you know how long it's been since I had a lunch meeting? Certainly not in the past four years that I've been a stay at home mom. When WAS my last lunch meeting? Thinking... thinking...

I've never had a lunch meeting.

Eating in front of people you are trying to impress. Oh that has disaster written alllll over it.

Eating at a restaurant that does not have the words nugget or fingers on the menu? Enough of a reason to make me try to overcome all my freak-ass self conscious issues and just go for it.

What would Heidi do? As in Heidi Klum. The thin, leggy, gorgeous Heidi Klum. Certainly while building her empire, she had a lunch meeting or two. I would imagine a woman who looks like her can handle a lunch meeting. I pictured her sitting there, smoking, while looking bored and half heartedly picking at a dressing free salad. Perhaps eyes scanning the room for someone more interesting.

I am so far from Heidi Klum that the only approach that would work would be to show up and hope like hell I didn't get lettuce in my teeth.

I got lettuce in my teeth.

Discovered that fact the second I got into my car, flashed a smile in the rear view mirror and OF COURSE there it was, all glistening and green and nestled between my bottom teeth.

Lovely.

I learned something about myself at these meetings. I cannot eat and meet at the same time. It's either meeting or it's eating for me. If I concentrate on eating like the delicate flower that I am, I miss what the person is saying to me. If I concentrate on what the person is saying to me, I put a forkful of food in my mouth, go to remove the fork, miss, and smack myself in the nose instead.

So lovely.

Looking on the bright side, I wore heels and did not stumble. There was no unexpected sneeze to project god knows what in my companion's face. There were no accidental or otherwise gaseous emissions. All in all, while completely wrought with self conscious angst, the meetings were surprisingly enjoyable.

Makes me think I need to get out from behind the microphone more often.

1 comment:

Harmony said...

This made me laugh. I needed that - thanks! ;)