Sunday, November 4, 2007

Second Hand Anger

As we ate dinner Friday evening, Boo leaned over her plate and her hair fell into food. She made an angry growling noise as she pushed her hair back from her face. "I hate this long hair! It gets in the way when I eat and sleep. I want it cut off!"

I asked if she was serious. I told her every long haired beauty entertains the idea of chopping it all off from time to time. Once it's gone, it's not coming back for a loooong time. "CUT IT OFF!" Boo yelled. "I want to look like Kennedy!"

Kennedy, her friend who has a cute little bob. I held Boo's hair back in the mirror to show her what it would look like. "Yes," she said excitedly, "Just like Kennedy!"

When she woke the next morning, I asked her again. Are you SURE you want those pretty long curls to go away? And again she said with much enthusiasm, "YES! Cut if OFF!"

We went to the kiddie salon. Boo sat in a firetruck and watched Spongebob while the stylist said to me, " She has Hollywood hair. Ladies in Hollywood pay a lot of money to look like this." I agreed and said it made Boo look much older and I would prefer THAT not happen anytime soon. "She can have all that glamorous hair when she's old enough to take care of it. Make her look three again, please." And she did.

The next morning, there was no screaming as I fixed her hair. No battles over untangling snarled curls. We should have done this years ago.

I'm sure you'll see the new 'do in coming episodes of WTYM-The Acronym. Oh, I had a minor meltdown in regards to the show this week, as all creative geniuses are wont to have. I was pissy because there's only so much I can do with no budget and no crew. I started asking if it was even worth it to continue. Then ahhhhhh I heard angels singing as two new feasible show ideas popped into my head. Then during lunch this weekend ahhhh more angels singing as Matt and I discussed what I would do if I had a crew and a budget. And he was like, "Just do it anyway." And I was like, "YES! Yes I will just do it anyway. Thank you, oh wise and wonderful husband." And he was like, "I'm never going to sleep again, am I?" Because we edit into the wee hours. He's such a nice man to put up with me. What's wrong with him?

I can't wait around, hoping that someday I'll have a crew and a budget. I've got ideas, baby. Good ones. And if I wait too long, someone else will do them.

Or I'll do them and they'll get ripped off by some Hollywood "Mom" with her skinny body, big boobs, and four nannies. "Being a mom is soooo hard. I'll show you how to make your life easier." Uh.. you and I don't even exist on the same planet, so.... you comparing the pros and cons of 500 dollar strollers or showing me the latest toddler fashions that start at 400 bucks an outfit doesn't help me much. But thanks, Hollywood. You sure do understand the needs of the middle class mom.

Speaking of not being able to afford 400 dollar toddler fashions...

I yelled at a woman in the second hand children's clothing store this weekend. I mean, full on lost it on this woman. ME! I lost it on someone!!

I'm a nice person. I'm so Midwestern, it's scary. We're just made to be nice around here. Is it the humidity? We're so zonked out by the humidity that we just can't make the effort to be anything more than pleasant, even in the winter? I don't get it. Even tho my one friend said that she would never cross me, because she feared my wrath. That made me chuckle. Me? I come in peace. I'm not like my mother, who up until recently carried a loaded gun in a Folgers can in the trunk of her car. Make My Day Marge. She has a gun, she has an AARP card.

I don't know if it's the lack of sleep or years of stress or me just coming into my OWN as a woman in her late 30s, but fuse is about this ---- short. And this weekend, a woman lit that fuse.

She thought I had cut her off in the second hand store en route to the register. That wasn't the case. I was hurrying my child, who had to poop, past the register to the bathroom. She got right on my heels while yakking on her cell phone and telling that person what a horrible woman I was for getting in her way. There was no doubt she was talking about me.

BAM! Explosion time. That passive aggressive nonsense doesn't fly with me. I turned around and yelled, I mean yelled, "You want in front of me so badly? Well come on, then! Go! JUST GO!" I waved my arm angrily back and forth. "GO!"

The lady just stopped in her tracks and gave me the deer in headlights look. Everyone around us went silent. Except for me, flapping my arm back and forth and yelling, "GO!"

Wow, can I project.

The lady mumbled, "I was talking about someone else." And quickly walked past.

I yelled after her, "Yeah right, lady! Just gooooooooo!"

That's not like me. I'm the person who sings tra la la in her head and quickly gets out of awkward situations while apologizing and being nice, even when it's clearly not my fault. I cannot stand confrontations. And yes, I maybe it was immature but damn it felt good. It was the typical scenario of a bully backing down when confronted.

Otherwise, a great weekend. I'll have tales of our adventures in sleep training and weaning in the coming days.


Steph said...

I SWORE my little girl would never have short hair.. and then she hit 3 and we cut it once and its been short since! Im sure Boo looks fabulous!

Im not sure what makes midwesterners so friendly, but its what I missed when I left Missouri. That woman sounds RUDE!

kimbalaya said...

Hannah finally has hair long enough to think about cutting. She does the same as Boo - every once in a while she'll just get frustrated and say "Oh, this HAIR! It's too LONG and I need Sue to cut it!!" (Sue is a family friend who was a hairdresser in a former life and cuts my hair now). I'm thinking about letting her...

Pat said...

Good for you Dear! Rude people need to be put in their place once a day!

Now WHY is it that all the women wear short hair and an old dog like me wears his long? Of course I always wear it in a braid or simply gathered in a low tail. HMMMMM Makes one wonder.

Brandi said...

Just wanted to let you know you have a new dedicated reader...and watcher of WTYM. My friend Callie mentioned your show to a moms group we're in so I checked it out, and I love it! I can't believe you and your husband do that show yourselves. It's great.

Oh, and I really can't feel for Miss Boo. I am not so patiently waiting for the day that my girls have hair long enough to ANYTHING with! Just a bow, that's all I want! One little bow so people stop asking me if they are boys!

J said...

Pictures of the new 'do, please!