City Moms

There's a lot of hooplah over suburban moms and housewives right now. The money, the dysfunction, the craziness.

Let me tell you something. City moms and housewives are just as crazy. I'm one of them and if that isn't enough proof for you, I don't know what would be.

Let me give you a peek into my day as an example.

Today was my Lasik consultation. I might shop the bargains for fashion but I won't shop the bargains for an eye surgeon. The doc I chose is accomplished and expensive. If we can swing another financed payment, Merry Christmas to me. If not, I'll just have to audition my little heart out until I gather enough dough to pay for the pleasure of eyesight without assistance.

Oh, let me just say that as I was driving home under overcast skies, with the wind whipping the red and orange leaves every which way, The Cure's "Lovesong" was playing on the radio. How perfect is that song for that setting? I had a moment in my Mom Mobile. It made me wonder what other moms listen to in their Mom Mobiles when the kids aren't around? I often laugh to myself because here I am, the mommiest of the mommies in the mommiest of vehicles and I'm blasting N.W.A and LOVING IT!

I get home to find a message on the machine from another City Mom. She's one of my working mom friends, so I don't see her as often as I'd like. Picture a stylish and professional blonde married to an accomplished husband living in a city home that always gives me house envy.

Now picture her leaving a message on my machine, asking if she could come over to my house... and vacuum.

Yes, you read that correctly. She wanted to come over and vacuum.

Yeah, like I'd turn that down!

She came over and brought her expensive and amazing twin side by side jogging stroller for me to borrow as well. Did you know some moms judge other moms by their stroller? Oh yeah, my stroller's been given the once over too many times to fathom. Now I'll give that crowd something to judge. The reason I'm in love is because it's soooo smooth and turns on a dime. It's the BMW of jogging strollers. You've seen me, of course I don't jog. I do walk and this stroller will be oh so comfortable to push on my walks.

My friend brings in the stroller and her brand new Dyson. She says, "I told my hair stylist today that I was so worried I offended you by asking to come vacuum. It's a sickness how much I love using this thing."

"Offended? I was overjoyed. Have at it!"

I made dinner while Matt played with the kids while my friend vacuumed the house. She told me I didn't have to help or shadow her, just sit down and eat. She was happy vacuuming.

TWO HOURS LATER, we said goodbye.

Two hours later! That woman moved furniture. She cleaned under beds. She vacuumed baseboards. And emptied tankful after tankful, filled with gray fuzz.

At one point she moved the ottoman, saw a pile of those new multi colored fruity Cheerios, and said, "YES! Orgasm time!"

I was embarrassed at first that my grime was exposed. After an hour, I just relaxed and figured hey, she was getting her jollies and I was getting clean carpeting.

I kid, but I was actually extremely appreciative. With surgery next week, I won't be able to vacuum, so she was really doing me a favor. The stroller, the vacuuming, and the laughs we shared made for a memorable evening.

There may not be white picket fences and four car garages, but we City Moms are just as nutty as our suburban counterparts.

It's more fun that way.

Happy Thanksgiving, you turkeys. I'll be back next week to bid you adieu before my surgery hiatus.