Last night, Miss Boo and I played Halloween. It's no longer "Calloween." It's nice when your kids learn to say their words correctly, but it's sad at the same time. You kind of miss it when they say spoon instead of foon. Or eyebrows instead of eyebrooze.
I told Boo the neighbors around here, with their pristine perfect yards and their perfectly decorated living rooms, give out the best candy. Be prepared for rented fog machines on the streets, the spooky flicker of strobe lights, homes turned into haunted mansions, and front yard parties filled with drunken six figure earners. Ahhh but the bad thing about the 40 and up yupster crowd? They make you work for their full size Snickers bars.
I remember the first year we took Boo trick or treating. She was ten months old. One of the neighbors actually asked her to do a trick. Buddy, she's a baby. Ok, fine. Who takes a baby trick or treating in the first place? How about parents who are jonzin for some candy and are too lazy to head to the store? Isn't that why you have kids in the first place? The perks of trick or treating, maaaaan!
I told Boo to practice some knock knock jokes. Here's what she came up with.
Me: Hello, little girl. I'd love to give you some candy, but you need to do a trick for me first. Yikes, this sounds creepy... Um... hey! How about a joke???
Boo: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Boo: Boo!
Me: Boo who?
Boo: What's wrong with you?
Me: Hmm.. we need to work on that one. Ok, let's try again.
Boo: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
Boo: Kleenex
Me: Kleenex who?
Boo: What, are you sick or something?
Me: Wow. I'm playing straight man to an antagonistic three year old. Let's try again!
Boo: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
Boo: Candy!
Me: Candy who?
Boo: When are you going to give me some candy????
Me: Maybe we should practice a little song instead.
Watch for a new episode of WTYM-the show on Monday.
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3 comments:
WOO HOO for B9!!!! I am thrilled for you and you should have had a party in your head to celebrate. I'll be watching for the show :)
Louanne
Ok, first of all, in response to this: "I remember the first year we took Boo trick or treating. She was ten months old. One of the neighbors actually asked her to do a trick." I say: Hello, dude? She's a 10-month-old walking up to your door saying trick or treat. That IS the trick.
Secondly, I can totally see your show as a segment on Show Me STL or the morning news shows. You should try the local news channels.
Good Lord, Boo is funny. I want to tell those jokes at parties and laugh uproariously - is that just the two whiskey sours talking?
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