Come, sit at the dinner table with my family. Observe last night's dinner conversation.
Me: (singing to Miss Boo) Little Bunny Foo Foo, hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head.
Me: Huh? Why what?
Boo: Why did he bop them on the head?
Me: I don't know Boo. It's a silly song. (singing the second part of the song) And down came the good fairy and she said, 'Little Bunny Foo Foo, I don't want to see you, scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head!'
Boo: Why? Why did she say that?
Me: (Sighs) Because, Boo. It's not nice to bop field mice on the head.
Boo: Why does Bunny Foo Foo bop mice on the head?
Me: I don't know, Boo! It's just a silly song. Mommy sang it when she was little.
Boo: But why does he bop field mice on the head???
Me: Because Bunny Foo Foo has unresolved anger issues not properly addressed in therapy.
Boo: Oh. Ok.
Me: (To Matt.) I often wonder if she repeats what we tell her at school.
Me: OH, by the way, Mister! Who's been smashing flies against the wall in the back hallway and not cleaning them up?
Matt: Oops, forgot to do that.
Me: Yeah. I came home today to find fly moosh all over the walls.
Me: I don't want to see fly particles all over the walls. Fly particles are not part of my overall design scheme in this house. (Get up to take Junie's tray to the kitchen to clean)
Matt: (Hands me Av's tray.) Here's take this one, too.
Me: Why should I do you any favors, Fly Smasher?
Matt: Hey, that would be a great band name! The Fly Smashers!
Me: Oh my gawd. I'm leaving home. You people are nuts.