Thursday, September 13, 2007

Gimme Five

My mother, Make My Day Marge, watched the kids while I ran to the grocery store. I am not so far gone that I would take three little kids to the grocery store. That was a good natured jab at a friend of mine who recently did just that- at 8 months pregnant. And called me from the store to ask me why she thought it was a good idea.

I came home and said hi to the kidlets and my little June Bug raised up her little hand and said, "Five!"

I turned to my mother and her boyfriend Bernie and they both looked so pleased.

"Did she just say five?"

"FIVE!"

My mother bragged, "Why yes! While you were gone, Bernie and I taught Junie how to count. Watch!" And she held out her hand and counted down from five to one.

June Bug waved her little fingers in the air and shouted, "All done!"

My mother laughed. "That's right, Junie. You counted to five, now you're all done! See, isn't she so smart?"

"Mom, how come you thought a ten month old baby could count? Is it because she's Chinese?"

My mother bristled. "Well! Of course! She's Chinese. Of course she's smart!"

I watched my baby study her fingers and I wondered if people thinking she's smart just because she's Chinese is such a bad thing after all. The stereotype of Asians being good at science, math, or music. Is it such a bad thing for people to think right off the bat that you're smart? Or gifted? Or talented? Certainly there has to be worse stereotypes than that?

Like the American stereotype, for example. That we're all fat, obsessed with sex, and way too violent.

What would you rather have people think when hearing about you for the first time?

"Judy? I hear she's Chinese. I'm sure she's really good at math. Or the violin."

or

"Judy? I hear she's American. She must be fat. And kinky. And enjoys shooting things."

I thought about that today as I was introduced to someone. The lady looked me up and down and decided I wasn't worth her time based on how I looked. It certainly wasn't based on my friendly hello and nice to meet you. I barely got out the hello before her eyes started scanning the room for someone who looked more interesting to her.

Junie is 11 months on Monday. My thoughts have turned to her first birthday party. With Miss Boo, we went all out on her first birthday party. For Junie, it will just be family at our favorite Chinese restaurant with a cake from the Chinese bakery. I wonder if other parents did the same thing? Big party for the first kid's first birthday and then more lower key parties for the other children's birthdays? Or are we just that tired?? Or did we learn our lesson that a one year old doesn't really comprehend a first birthday and it's more for the parents?

I'm still not feeling well and I know this feeling well. It's the worst of PCOS. Since I'm now 9 months postpartum, it makes sense that my body is finally getting back to "normal." And for me, normal means pretty screwed up. I've never been to an endocrinologist before. I was diagnosed with PCOS when we were trying to get pregnant. It's been years of trying to bypass the PCOS in order to ovulate. Now I just want to bypass the PCOS completely.

I don't want to get too hyped up about seeing the Endo next month. There isn't much that can be done about PCOS. The chance that he will find the magical answer is very slim. I just hope that someday there are medications that can help women. I hate thinking I might have passed this down to Avie and Boo. It's just awful and only those with PCOS can truly appreciate this helpless feeling. Isn't there something that can stop all these symptoms???

I haven't felt this excited about seeing a doctor since my Dr Pearlstone infertility treatment years. Funny where the phases of life take you. Only a few years ago I wanted my ovaries to WORK! Now I want them to shut up and behave. Or rather, I want the part or parts of me that aren't functioning properly to work, dammit, WORK!

Autumn is how St. Louis apologizes for summer. This area of the country is spectacular this time of year. Warm but not too warm. Breezy but not too breezy. Sunny but not too sunny. If it was like this year round it would be San Francisco and none of us could afford to live here. Take this weather and all the family friendly attractions, and St. Louis is the ultimate city in September and October. We'll be getting out this weekend. How about you?

5 comments:

Katie said...

Hi - I loved your post. I am always excited when there is a new one. My brain is a bit fried, so I have nothing intelligent to say in response. Heck I don't even have anything stupid to say. So I'll just go back to my clients and get the work done. HA. Glad you have a Drs. appt. Hope he does something to help you feel better. We are going to the balloon glow tonight and off to the wineries tomorrow. My aunt is babysitting for 8 hours! Our first time out as adults in 7 months! WOO HOO!
K

Mutha said...

Love it, Katie. What fun you will have. One of my happiest memories was watching the balloon race from the 22nd floor balcony of our apartment overlooking Forest Park. What a moment. Enjoy your adult time! It's long overdue over at this house, but hopefully soon.

Louanne said...

I have to comment on the 1st birthday thing. I think it's all for the parents. The kids don't know what's going on...kinda like their first Christmas. Hope you feel better soon.

L

Mutha said...

Thanks, Louanne. I feel bad, like I should give Junie the same party I gave Boo. But I think a Chinese restaurant party is just perfect. Too bad it won't be in China! A birthday celebration in Hong Kong sounds perfect. Ahhh to be a jet setter...

Steph said...

I miss St. Louis in the fall! :( It really is beautiful! I miss going down to the waterfront in St. Charles and walking in and out of all the little shops! I loved reading your post. Its funny how we make assumptions. I hope the doc can help you!