Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Baby you can mow my lawn anytime

I have to tell you what I saw today.

I was on my way to an appointment with Dental King, dentist to the stars. Or those of us who are stars in our own minds.

I wanted to make sure my teeth were ok for China. I'm paranoid. If anyone is going to break a tooth in China, it's gonna be me. I'm a grinder. I need to find a new nervous habit. Grinding your teeth is a verrrrry expensive habit.

Dental King's office is in a swanky part of town. The only time I go to that part of town is when I see Dental King. Because, again, I'm a star not in reality, but only in my own mind.

I just happened to notice the lawn guys working on one of the mega mansions in the area. It was like someone from Central Casting dropped off these dudes for a movie shoot. They were the lawn boys that dreams are made of. Tall, bronzed, zero body fat, extremely good looking and young. Not illegal young. Just turned 21 and want to get drunk with you young. But you're buying.

Stupid rich people. Even their lawn boys are better than ours.

My lawn guy? I'm afraid he's going to drop over from a heart attack when he mows our lawn. He's neither young, nor is he in shape, and not at all considered, "a hottie."

Lesson learned. Money can buy you everything. Including lawn boys that look like movie stars.

So then I'm trying to keep my eyes back on the road and concentrate on driving when I saw another crazy sight. Another sight straight out of Central Casting.

She was standing at the bottom of the highway exit of this swank area, which made her look completely out of place. People don't hang around highway off ramps. Not in this city and certainly not in that area of town. She had long, fried out blonde hair. Pink sparkle barely there tube top. White hot pants which were more like white bikini bottoms. Pink luggage (but not like MY pink luggage. Hooker pink luggage. There is a difference!) And so drunk or stoned she was wobbling this way and that on her ... wait for it..... plastic see thru stripper shoes!

I was in heaven. I live for these blog worthy sightings!

After my appointment, I stopped at the little jewelry/accessories shop I can't afford and bought some sparkling hair jewelry and little wrap around silver bead rings for the nannies in the orphanage. I've gone over my spending limit for the nannies but figure they deserve some treats. To me, it was nothing to buy those items. To them, that's probably a whole month's salary. Plus, they took care of my baby! They deserve so much more than sparkling trinkets. But I can't wrap the hottie lawn boys and give them as gifts.


Katie said...

No way - a hooker in Lad**???

Barina said...

Was she on Lindberg? (I know that is spelled wrong)

If so, she is the local Lindberg hooker that I used to see all the time by Ronnies Plaza in a bathing suit and nothing else.

And she is always messed up.

Mutha said...

Yes! If she is servicing that area, then the rich men of La De Da have some really screwed up fantasies!