Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Oh honey, are you lost?

Oh sweetie, you haven't heard? I've moved to

Come on over. It's fun!

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Mutha Mae Dot Com Now Live!

Helloooooo, guess what? is now live.


Friday, March 28, 2008

They Hain't No Hair On My Sheelee Dawg

Come back on Monday when my brand new website goes live with a new video show.

"Give me an R! Arrrrrrrr, Mateys!"

Conversation between myself and my four year old in a crowded women's restroom this
afternoon. I had just used the facilities and was pulling up my pants. Boo was in the stall with me:

Boo: Mommy!
Me: Boo!
Boo: Mommy! You have hair!
Me: (Shaking my head around) Yes, I do. See!
Boo: No! You have hair ON YOUR BUTT!
Me: (knowing what she meant but pretending I didn't) How unfortunate. Come on, let's go.
Boo: Mommy! Mommmy! Pull down your pants!
Me: No.. Boo. Come on, let's go.
Boo: Pull down your pants! I want to see that hair!
Me: Enough, Boo, let's goooooo.
Boo: You have such a hairy butt!!

We then walked to the sinks to wash our hands. There was a lady next to us who was trying so hard to hide her amused face.

Boo turned to the lady and said, "My mommy has such a hairy butt. Do you have a hairy butt, too?"

Well, my lovely McChickies, I don't know if I'm going to update here again until my new site is finished. I dunno. It might take a few weeks. There's so much to do. Eh, check back next week. Updating here will depend on my mood and if I'm all pissy because my new site isn't up yet. Such a diva.

Here's a vlog entry.

Monday, March 24, 2008

WTYM The Show. Part 2 Magnet School Lotto

Alright, alright, alright already! Here's a new episode of my show. There was a glitch, the ending got screwed up and I had to re-shoot and re-cut the ending tonight. BUt that's ok! This one is much better. GOod combination of the vlog with the show, what do you think? Agree agree? Watch it again, why not? You can never have too much Mutha. Shhh don't reply to that.

If you're new, go to my YouTube page and watch the Nixon Birthday party my friend threw for her Nixon obsessed for year old. Do it first, then come back here and watch this one. I'm so bossy and we've just met! Damn! It's the best show yet. Oh, but the one posted below is good. It's just not Nixon birthday party good. Ya know? Yeah you do.

Ok ok ok. So the new intro...
When Miss Boo was a baby, I'd take time each month to record her voice with my home studio equipment. It's such the geeky voice over talent thing to do, but I'm so glad I did. I have an audio progression of her verbal skills as they developed.

Boo as a baby

The first recording took place when she turned 12 months old. I put her on my lap, moved the microphone over to us and asked, "Whose show is this?"

To my surprise, she answered, "Mama!"

I was thinking about that today when a light bulb broke itself over my head. Hello stupid! Whose show IS this? Mama's show!

I suddenly had the perfect audio sample to edit into my show opening.

Word To Your Mutha The Show. Show #10. Part 2 of Magnet School Lottery Update. About 6 minutes long.

Perez Hilton Gives Mae A Heart Attack

So I go to get the Boo from school. Come home. Find two messages on the answering machine. Weird. No one calls me.

Play the first message. It's my pal Katie. "Mae, oh my god. OH MY GOD! You're on Perez Hilton! YOUR VIDEO IS ON PEREZ HILTON!!!" And Katie is gasping, she's so excited and stammering as she tries to explain that she opened her Google Reader to read a Perez update and there I am under, "You must watch this!" And it's the fondu restaurant vlog entry!

It's the fondu restaurant vlog entry????

So in my mind, I'm going, "OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD this is it. THIS IS IT! FINALLY people will watch my damn videos!" But there was also this nagging voice going, "The fondu vlog entry? On Perez? This does not compute. This does not compute." Then my brain exploded.

I rush to the computer to check, all while calling Matt and yelling that I'm on Perez Hilton. Matt and I are both checking out the site. Page after page. Lots of stars. Lots of gossip. No Midwestern stay at home mom wanna be fame whores.

I call Katie and yell, "KATIE! I WENT TO SCHOOL TO GET BOO AND IN THAT TIME I MADE IT ON PEREZ HILTON????? But where am I on Perez Hilton?"

Katie replied in a little voice, "I'm so sorry. You didn't. My Google reader must have cached your video and put it in the place of the actual video Perez was promoting. Sorry."

OH, bummer. For 2 minutes of my life, I knew what it felt like to become an overnight sensation.

It felt so good.

Katie and I continued to chat and the mail came. It's an envelope from the school district. The only reason they mail is to tell you that YOUR KID GOT INTO THE MAGNET SCHOOL! OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!!


It's a notice for an upcoming seminar for parents.

Oh bummer. For 1 minute of my life I knew what it felt like to have a kid in the Magnet school district.

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.

Click to enlarge and you'll see why Katie thought what she did!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Actually we're quite off

Miss Boo has a new favorite show. The Fairly Odd Parents.

Boo: Can I watch that one show?
Me: Which show, Boo?
Boo: The Faerie Odd Parents?
Me: The Fairly Odd Parents?
Boo: Yeah. The Barely Off Pants.
Me: Want to try for one more, Boo?
Boo: The Barely Off Parents!

There will be a new episode of Word To Your Mutha The Show on Monday. Part 2 of the Magnet School series.

There might be a new vlog entry tomorrow or this weekend. Not sure of that yet.

Until we meet again in this kooky online world, take care, my internet lovelies. All 38 of you. Wish I was kidding. Sadly I'm not.

The women I love, oh how they hurt me

Oh the ladies of my life.

Today we met up with Boo's friends from her preschool class at a bounce warehouse place here in town. It's a big room filled with bouncie castles and slides. It's about 8 bucks a person for unlimited bounce time and it's FUN. The workout alone is worth the admission price.

I was so psyched to spend time with my oldest girl. I pictured us holding hands and bouncing and giggling and sliding and having the best time. Just like we did the last time we went. About this time last year. Her friends were there that time, but Boo wanted to stick with me.

Today Boo and I were the first ones in the place. We threw off our shoes and ran for the biggest slide and slid down a billion times. We bounced, we laughed, we had fun. For ten minutes. Then her friends walked in and I didn't see her again for three hours.

Oh, I SAW her. I made sure I knew where she was at all times. But did she want anything to do with me? Noooooo! "Boo, come on! Let's go bounce! Come on everyone, let's go bounce. Let's race down the slides. It will be FUN!" Her friends were into that idea and would grab my hand and go YAYYY! Boo would roll her eyes, grab the hand of her friend back, and take off in the opposite direction.

The knife that went through my heart! Ouch!! How badly does that hurt??! No one told me it happened this soon. Why didn't they warn me? She's four. I thought there was a lot more time before mommy wasn't wanted.

After bouncing, we headed home. My mother was watching the babies so Boo and I could have our alone time. Now I know if I want alone time with Boo, make a date ALONE WITH BOO!! Lesson learned, thank you.

I asked my mother when we'd be seeing her on Easter Sunday. We always get together to dye eggs and watch Boo find eggs and then have lunch and family time. My mother informed me she wouldn't be participating in Easter this year. She and the boyfriend are having lunch, then a quiet afternoon. They are not interested in spending time with the girls on Easter.

Again with the knife into the heart!

My mother is pulling away from our family. It's a reality that has been hard to face, but must be faced. She cannot balance the boyfriend and being a grandmother. I don't know if it's his deal or her deal or both of their deals. She is my mother and will always be my mother even when she breaks my heart, which she does on a regular basis but she's her and I'm me and life goes on and I'll have a great Easter with my girls and Matt. The end.

And this is me. Always longing for family. Always longing for love. Always longing for validation. Anyone surprised I want to be a performer?