Tuesday, November 13, 2007


I got my hair cut. I got my hair cut. Whee whee whee I got my hair cut. Wait, I haven't fully annoyed you yet. One more time! I got my hair cut!

The last time I had my hair cut was in China. My bob had grown out into a blob. All round and shapeless. Like me!

I watched the footage I shot this weekend and felt my blob haircut was looking pretty blerg. Thankfully I had a hair appointment scheduled for today. I was flying blind with a new stylist. A relative of Drrrrrrty Gale, my buddy who earned that nickname last night in my dream. I feel dirty today. Drrrrrty Gale kept turning into Ryan Stiles. We were someplace Disney. It was so wrong. I'm so sorry Gale.

Drrrrty Gale was on my mind because he said to call him should I get lost en route to the stylist. The stylist is located in The West County. I never leave The City. The West County is out of my zone. Drrrty was quite wise to offer directional guidance because, of course, I got lost.

I was in the parking lot of Burlington Coat Factory, somewhere on Manchester Road. I was sweaty and confused and not just because it's 70 degrees in Mid November in St. Louis. Seriously, I have red tomatoes on the vine with roses in full bloom. Why did that sound as Drrrrty as Gale's nickname?

I made my frantic call to Drrrrrty:

Me: I'm lost. I'm in the Burlington Coat Factory parking lot.
Drrttty: Ok, look up. Do you see a road?
Me: Yes. Is that Manchester Road?
Drrttty: Yes. Do you see a building in front of you?
Me: Yes.
Drrttty: Do you see an "M" on the building.
Me: Yes.
Drrrrty: Does it say Metro Design Studio?
Me: Yes.
Drrrty: -------
Me: Oh. OH! I'm here! I'm not lost at all! I'm actually parked right in front of the salon! Thanks, Drrrrty Gale!!

The salon itself was like nothing I've experienced before. It was private room after tiny private room. No front desk or lobby. Just a bunch of rooms that could be closed off with curtains drawn. For all the celebrity clients we get in St. Louis? You can that kind of private luxury in The West County. The anti social freak in me totally dug it. I pretended I was special.

Miss J spent an hour and a half working on my hair. It's the most I've ever paid for a hair cut and looks it. She took five pounds off my face. I would have paid double just for that. But to get a sleek cut at the same time? Sweeet. I'd say you could check it in the next few episodes of the show, but you'll see the grown out blobby blergy haircut instead.

Then I did what any A Lister does after a hair cut. I ate at White Castle. I'm classy like that.

This entry was typed while Yo Gabba Gabba played in the background for the very first time in this house And for the last time. Juna took one look at those funky monsters and ran screaming from the room. I have to admit that I rewound Nathaniel's dance about ten times.

You rock, Nathaniel.

And so does my hair. Thanks, Drrrrty. I'd show it to you in person, but I'll never be able to look you in the eyes again.


twolinesonastick said...

WHAT! You were like five minutes from my house and you didn't call me! And did you even look for clothes for the girls at Burlington while you were right there? They have great deals on dresses and also on Carter's stuff.

If you drive all the way out here again, I better get a heads up.

Holly said...

You just reminded me that I need a hair cut too. Good for you for being able to spoil yourself just a little.
And White Castle on top of it all!?!? YUMMY!!!!!!!!!!

J said...

OMG, this is one of your funniest posts in a long time. I just got coffee in my nose from laughing.

bb said...

MUST SEE THE HAiRCUT!!! I remember the one in China. I was following your blog then. Please let's see the haircut!!! I need to see the haircut! You should show us the haircut! P L E A S E!!!! Pretty please with applesauce and cottage cheese on top. ; 0